The Old Shelter

Dieselpunk Roaring Twenties. Sarah Zama's Author Blog

8 Sentence Sunday on Dieselpunks #12

dieselpunkssquarelogoThe episode where Sinéad chances to meet Blood and Michael again and ends up going with them to the Old Shelter is among my favourite and was a great fun to write. The entire episode is four chapters long and is an introduction to so many important story elements… Sinéad and Michael’s attraction to each other being one of these.

I also introduce a lot of new characters and of course one of the most important setting in the story. I’ll say the truth, it was hard to write and it went through multiple rewritings, but I still love it a lot.

They looked so different, Blood and Michael. Especially Blood, with his ice-grey suit and the matching long coat and fedora in place of the jumper and flat hat he wore the first time she met him. But even Michael, who wore a suit and just the same long coat and fedora he had wore that day, looked different, although she could not say where that sensation came from.

She was trying to figure that out, when she realised her eyes were sliding down Michael’s strong neck and rested then on his wide shoulders. Her face warmed up. She was glad Susie spoke again, “Where are you heading?”

Sinéad’s red mouth curled in a small smile. “The Old Shelter.”

——————————————————————————-

Did you enjoy my snippet?

If you didn’t, I’m sorry (shed one tear), I’ll try better next time, so don’t give up on me.

If you did, here’s a few things you might want to do.

  1. If you are a dieselpunk or steampunk writer, you might want to join the 8 Sentence Sunday on Dieselpunks‘challenge’.  Head over to Dieselpunks, sigh up and look for the 8 Sentence Sunday on Dieselpunks And join the fun!
  2. If you are a dieselpunk or steampunk writer and you have a blog, you might want to post eight sentence from your work on Sunday and share it. Make sure to leave a link in the comment box below and I’ll be sure to visit.
  3. If you are a historical writer and you have a story or more sent in the Twenties too, you might want to post eight sentence from your work on Sunday and share it. Make sure to leave a link in the comment box below and I’ll be sure to visit.
  4. If you are a dieselpunk or steampunk writer, or if you are a historical writer writing in a Twenties setting or if you are just a reader, by all means leave a comment below. I’ll never oppose to that.

 

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3 thoughts on “8 Sentence Sunday on Dieselpunks #12

  1. Thanks for another interesting piece, Jazzfeathers. Just a couple of small quibbles:-

    “…Her eyes were sliding down Michael’s strong neck and rested then on his wide shoulders.” is a metaphor some readers might take literally, with horrible/hilarious results. “Gaze” might be better than “eyes”

    Also, given Sinead is the point-of-view character, she probably would not describe the color of her own lips.

    Of course, I could be wrong!

    JTS

  2. Hey JT, that’s for the suggestion. It’s always tricky fo rme, since in my language there would be no doubt that ‘eyes’ stand for ‘gaze’. It isn’t the first time people points this out to me, but it seems to be stronger than me 😉
    Ah… arean’t languages funny?

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